1. When you get a ‘usual’ the second day that you go (but not in an embarrassing ‘You must have no life because you were here at 10.30am yesterday’ kind of way) ~ Moby Torquay
2. When surprise chocolate turns up with your coffee ~ Coko Black, Royal Arcade, Melbourne
3. When, by chance, you get the squishy bench-seat, rather than the hard kitchen-seat ~ Sticks & Grace, Geelong.
4. When the staff don’t just know your ‘usual’ and you’re name, but could, if required, list the top three things going on in your life as well as your last two boyfriends (other than coffee) ~ Soul Fuel, Torquay
5. When you can walk into the place and bump into more than three people that you like, as well as three that you’d rather not speak to ~ Swell, Jan Juc.
6. When other customers walk in and order amusing things like ‘A foccata and a normal coffee’ ~ Hoots, Winchelsea.
7. When you take a friend to a great café that you can claim ‘I found it first’ ~ Slow Poke, Fitzroy
8. When the place has the most amazing strawberry cheesecake of all time ~ Vegie Bar, Fitzroy (I know that this isn’t a café, but I believe the amazing-ness of this cake blurs all boundaries of reason… all boundaries of my reason anyway)
9. When they have the Irrewarra fruit toast (because I just don’t want to ever eat any other kind of fruit toast and don’t try and convince me otherwise) ~ Dariwell Farm, Highton
10. When the staff call you ‘Babe’. (This is something I will NEVER be able to get away with) – The Delicatessen on Brunswick Street, Fitzroy near that cool flower shop with the spinny flower.

Kathryn writes for KROCK.com.au every Friday. Find out more about her here