Going crazy, Broadway style.

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I don’t have a TV.

Not by choice, but by having moved into a house without one. I must have been so distracted by the flashy sunset from my new balcony, that I didn’t notice the lack of idiot box in the corner.

Idiot box was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? I like TV. I like its relaxy charms. I like its witty comedies. I even like its Ice Road Truckers. So living without a TV has been interesting.

My accidentally-superior lifestyle now includes things like: listening to more radio, reading more books and… watching more DVDs on my laptop. Whatever, I still don’t have a TV. (You could say that TV in my life has simply become more expensive, and now costs me $4.40 for three episodes at the Video Dogs in Fitzroy.) (But man, what a great name, right? Video Dogs).

When I was a teenager I used to baby-sit for a few of the families around my neighborhood (I actually wanted to be in ‘The Babysitters Club’ but there were no positions vacant. I wanted to be Dawn). The best bit about babysitting was that many of the families had Pay TV, and so when the kids went to bed, I got to watch all kinds of awesome new films that I couldn’t watch on normal TV. Like Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom.

After spending TV time with these other families, I began to realize a common trend. Many of the kids weren’t allowed to watch The Simpsons. And when I say horrified. I mean horrified.

HORRIFIED.

I think it’s fair to say (even though mum-anon is going to have a conniption when she reads this) that I leant a lot of what I know from The Simpsons. I’m not kidding. What is in my brain is a combination of learnings from home, school, friends, and weeknightly Kelly-Simpson gatherings.

Things that I can genuinely recall learning from watching the show:

1. I learnt right from wrong (from watching Bart)

2. I learnt about different family units

3. I learnt about different religions

4. When I got a little older, I was able to match Simpsons storylines with historical events that I’d learnt about at school.

5. I was instilled with the ability to quickly befriend other Simpsons-fed kids, with little more than a simple quote (…Kiss my assfault, eh?) and alienate many, many more.

I guess my point is that watching The Simpsons didn’t make me want to all of a sudden make my own slingshot and ‘go crazy Broadway style’. (I’m sure I just alienated of you, but hang on, we’re almost at the end.) My parents trusted me to make those distinctions for myself, and I did.

I don’t think a little TV is bad. I think a little good TV is good. So long as it doesn’t cost $4.40 for three episodes.

What a rip.